Page 10
Call Sign August 2011
Allen Togwell s Marketing Place
A fool in April???
dress sense is no better than tramps, must wear
shirts and ties. Mmmmm, absolutely amazing!
Recently whilst out shopping with my partner
and assisting as I normally do by waiting in the
Volunteer nude taxi
car, I found I'd forgotten to take any reading
matter with me, but by chance sitting on the
drivers???
back seat was an old copy of Call Sign that I
To all of our lady members about to look at this,
had used as fish wrapper and rather than twid-
read no further unless you have a partner you
dle my thumbs, decided that as Call Sign is
would like to propose as a suitable candidate.
always a good read - whatever state it's in - I
Otherwise it's for gentlemen only - a statement
would have another peruse. And I'm pleased I
that alone will surely make them read on...
did because it was the April edition, which
Several months ago there was a passionate
included the April Fool's ruse involving a sup-
article in Call Sign by David Burnetts (S43)
posed superfast service that the DaC Board were
titled Prostate Cancer: My Story. It was about
soon to launch and were looking for drivers will-
the passing of his father-in-law, Alfie Jacobs,
ing to drive 8 Ferraris. It was so well written by
who was also a cab driver for many years and
national press this year that made me smile,
our editor, that it made me smile more on the
who died from Prostate cancer. It was also
including one story that at first glance could
second read than it did the first! I don't know
about David's own stressful experience with
have been thought of as a ruse, but in fact
how many of our members were fooled, but I
prostate problems. Following that article, David
wasn't. It referred to Eddie Stobart dying a
could just imagine our detractor's futile brains
wrote to me expressing his concern about how
bankrupt with no material assets. This prompt-
being taken in by that piece and thinking up all
so little research is done in the UK on prostate
ed comments on Twitter such as `Well done
sorts of nonsense to put on their blogs, but had
cancer compared to other types such as breast
Eddie, you had the last laugh, what a great tax
been saved from looking a jerk by their partners
cancer and was keen to play his part in raising
move. Sadly, Eddie Stobart did die on 1 April
or offspring when they informed dim daddy that
awareness, while at the same time help raise
2011 of a heart attack at the age of 56, bankrupt
it was an April Fool's ruse!
money towards prostate cancer research. One
with debts of £220,000 and no assets even
Talking of offspring - a grandchild in my case
idea David had was similar to that organised by
though he had sold his business to his brother
- either I'm getting senile or 11year olds really
the group of Yorkshire women who posed
for £150million in 2004, coincidentally the
are beyond their years when it comes to com-
nude for a calendar to raise funds for
required seven years after which there is no
puters. A few months ago, a sister of mine had
Leukaemia & Lymphoma research and who
inheritance tax liability. These details apart, I
a duck lay eggs in her garden and when they
became well known as the Calendar Girls.
mention the death of Eddie Stobart because of
hatched, she took a video of them setting off to
In David's case, he was looking for my
what an interesting person he was - the iconic
the nearest pond and showed it to friends via
help in organising a group of guys to pose
Facebook. Until that moment, I'd never been
name behind a huge road haulage fleet
in the altogether with their modesty cov-
interested in websites such as Facebook,
totalling some 2,250 vehicles when he died. He
ered by a Dial-a-Cab logo! Knowing the
Twitter and so on, but my partner wanted to
was a small, neat, self-effacing working class
body shapes of most cab drivers of my gen-
see the video, so I registered on Facebook but
boy with a pronounced stammer and an unim-
couldn't open the video. So I asked my daugh-
eration, it doesn't conjure up a very pretty
pressive school record. He took over the busi-
ter for help. She suggested I wait until my
sight but I'm sure there are many of our
ness, comprising of 8 lorries, from his father in
11year old granddaughter came home from
younger colleagues within the trade who
1976 aged 21. From the very start he said: "I
school and that she would explain everything I
take care of their physique and would be
saw a lot of potential just by changing the image
needed to know about Facebook. My intention
ideally suited to pose for such a calendar.
of lorries and the drivers. Lorries on Britain's
was to un-register myself immediately after see-
I'd be very surprised if many of you reading
roads were tatty and dirty and driven by rough
ing the video, but in the short time I waited for
this are not smiling at this very moment at the
looking men who dressed no better than
my granddaughter to contact me, I received
thought of this venture - as I did - but I sin-
tramps." Eddie Stobart insisted that all of his lor-
what looked like a million photos of complete
cerely hope, again as I did, that looking at it
ries, with their outsize green, red and gold liv-
strangers offering to be my friend! Amongst
seriously, think that as it obviously worked for
ery should be kept in immaculate condition
which, to my displeasure, were several former
the Calendar Girls, there is no reason why it
and his drivers should wear a shirt and tie. Any
members of Dial-a-Cab who it pains me to say
couldn't work for a group of guys from the
driver caught not wearing a tie would face dis-
I am usually only reminded of when I'm hav-
world's most recognised taxi industry
ciplinary action. He also gave all of his lorries
ing a bad dream! I did however learn some-
licensed taxi drivers from London!
female names, the first three were Twiggy
thing that day when I saw the face of a Sam
I explained to David that whilst I admire his
after the 60s model - Tammy and Dolly after
Togwell, who - whilst I have never met the
dedication towards a worthy cause, rather than
singers Tammy Wynette and Dolly Parton. He
chap - I discovered that he was my brother's
advertise Dial-a-Cab, it should really be open
also decreed that every driver should wave
grandson. Apparently he is a journeyman pro
to the whole trade with perhaps the trade
back and sound their horns when a member of
footballer who plays for Scunthorpe United. I
organisations taking an interest, because regret-
the public recognised the brand. The policy of
haven't a clue where Scunthorpe United is in
tably, our Society rules do not allow us to pro-
inscribing names on the front of the cab helped
the league or even on the map; in fact all I
mote commercial products outside of supplying
to attract a 35,000-strong fan club. We've all
know about Scunthorpe is remembering Spike
a transport service. I also feel it would have a
Milligan once saying: I would like the people of
seen Edie Stobart lorries when using motor-
better chance of being successful if the whole
Scunthorpe to know that the reference I made
ways and no doubt over the years there have
of the taxi trade was given the opportunity to
about Scunthorpe is nothing personal; it was a
been millions of parents who have relieved the
become involved. However, I did promise
joke... as is Scunthorpe.
tedium of a car journey by channelling their
David I would mention it at the next opportu-
Some might think it a bit odd that I should
children's boredom into Stobart-spotting.
nity I get as part of my article in Call Sign to
need Facebook to obtain knowledge about
I found it interesting reading Eddie Stobart's
get a feel of what the response would be. So
members of my own family. The answer being,
obituary in that it made no reference at all to
Gentlemen, the first stage of the project is to get
as a family of 12, several of whom in the past
any business skills he might have possessed,
12 volunteers, one for each month, without
bred like rabbits and were scattered far and wide,
but simply his determination to change an
whom the project doesn't get off the ground...
keeping track of the exploits of great nephews
image. It's truly amazing when you think how
and nieces could be a full time occupation.
so much success could be achieved by insisting
Allen Togwell
Anyway I digress; so back to Call Sign's
a body of professional drivers of vehicles we
DaC Marketing
April Fool ruse. There were several in the
recognise from our roads each day and whose
