Call Sign February 2004 - Page 31 - ARE WE BETTER OFF UNDER TFL?,MEN DISH THE DIRT ON WOMEN!

Driving along Kings Road one evening, feeling sorry for myself while pondering a recent £60 parking fine courtesy of the Met and a new cab licence fee massively increased courtesy of Mayor Ken, I started to wonder if my life has been any better under the auspices of TFL? The answer in my head was an emphatic and immediate no…
   Our maverick Mayor has now been welcomed back into New Labour by Tony Blair, in time for the next mayoral elections and perhaps the next New Year's Honours List - alongside probably, Julian Clary! It seems that in matters of electoral expediary, many politicians will run with the hare and run with the hounds.
   With tourism in London at a low ebb and needing our American friends more than ever, it beggars belief that Tony Blair has rubber-stamped a Mayor who has been vehemently opposed to George Bush and his style of ‘War on Terrorism’. It is widely mooted that Gordon Brown, our frugal Chancellor who has diligently kept our economy afloat, did not want him. That is understandable perhaps, now that Mr Livingstone is plunging London towards bankruptcy and driving the red bus budget into a £1bn debt.
   London’s streets are now choked with red buses, nullifying the congestion charge, which for

ARE WE BETTER OFF UNDER TFL?

A DaC Driver’s View of Buses v Taxis…

all its advantages has disadvantaged many shops and restaurants in the centre according to a new Westminster survey.
   London museums are free and also now it seems are the buses, to those who know how to work the system. With the advent of ticket machines if working and not issuing blanks - although I am told that a blank ticket is a bonus, there are so many scams.
   Stand in the queue and you will hear people say "Which one are you catching?" and the reply will be "the free one!" Apparently with free - sorry three - access points on a bendy bus, you don’t have to show your pass. Random inspectors are minimal.
   Where you do have to show your pass to the driver on other new buses, a ticket share facility is another widely used scam. Once onboard, you just chuck your pass out of the window to your mate! Cash paying customers often don't even get a ticket from the driver. Tourists in London are needless to say, very puzzled by all the shemozle that is currently going on.
Licensed taxis are therefore facing an uphill struggle to

   keep a decent slice of the market. The current climate favours the red bus, as the Mayor seems intent on hanging us out like kippers to be smoked in his new Fleet Street bus lane - another one we cannot use!
   And this "improved" public service has come at a heavy price, hence the Mayor's demands for another £1bn from the man he wanted sacked.
   Suddenly the back of my cab filled up with the sound of music – Mozart - instantly curing me from my sorrows. There on the back seat was Aladdin's Lamp – well almost… a musical handbag! I grabbed the mobile phone out of the bag, as a pile of condoms and personal lubricants fell out.
   It was my previous passenger, a young pretty Bulgarian call girl. I drove back to Beauchamp Place to meet her and handed over the bag. She, in turn, thrust a £20 note into my hand and told me that I had just saved her life! I accepted the money graciously and then turned the cab round and drove off - no doubt to save a few more lives!
   That girl need not worry about earning money. This is London; there's always a free bus home…

David Heath (W27)

MEN DISH THE DIRT ON WOMEN!
Give your taxi the best in-car clean up it’s ever had, courtesy of Armor All Valet Kits! Ten lucky Call Sign readers will each win a super Armor All prize pack consisting of Glass Wipes, Dashboard Wipes, Clean-up Wipes, Leather Wipes, Tyre Foam and Wheel Foam! Your cab will look and feel like new again! See the simple competition at the end of the article and you could be one of 10 DaC drivers who will win an Armor All Valet Kit… Grimy Secrets Emerge After Major Car Care Research… How Call Sign Can Help…! The results of one of the biggest-ever research projects into the in-car habits of Britain’s motorists point the finger at women at the wheel as being the grimier species, claim car care gurus, Armor All. Over 250,000 motorists were quizzed in a four-month nationwide Armor All campaign in support of its no-fuss range of Wipes and came clean about their less than saintly habits when it comes to in-car cleanliness.	The results show women to be less car-proud than men in terms of inner cleanliness and are more likely to consider it a man’s job to clean the car. Findings were reinforced in a ‘grime poll’ conducted on-line via an Armor All website, which enabled men and women to vote for the gender they felt were the more slovenly in-car, with women scoring 60% of the vote. The research amongst motorists, which was conducted in major towns, cities and motorway service areas, also revealed that both sexes have little time for fastidious car cleaning and that the traditional ‘Sunday suds’ wash and brush-up holds little appeal to today’s time-pressed, leisure-loving car owner. Armor All Marketing Manager, Simon Walsh told Call Sign: "Motorists en masse are now looking for a fast fix answer to car cleaning, which is why the Wipes are so appealing. They provide a quick, no mess, no-fuss solution to keeping car interiors looking good." Simon ended by adding: "With time pressures, an increasing range of leisure pursuits and automated car washes now widespread, DIY car care is frequently superficial -	particularly it seems, amongst women!" How you can win a Valet Kit! Send your name, address and phone number to Call Sign and tell us which Armor All Wipe is missing from this list of super wipes contained in their Valet Kit? Glass Wipes, Dashboard Wipes, Clean-up Wipes, Leather Wipes, Tyre Foam and ???? And speaking of Armor All Wipes, did you know that: Armor All Wipes were first introduced in the USA in 2001 and have become the fastest-growing car care appearance product in the world… The current quartet of Armor All Wipes - for glass, dashboard, upholstery and leather - sells worldwide at an average of 10,000 units per hour… In the UK, Armor All Wipes are available at £3.99 or less for a self-seal container of 25 Wipes, from Halfords and all good accessory shops, ASDA and major supermarket chains and all motorway service stations. Good luck in the competition. Winners will be notified by February 19 and the Editor’s decision is final…*