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Fed up with the stupidity that surrounds our daily lives? Join Chas Kissin (P99J) as he struggles to make sense of the nonsensical - and all from the front of his TX1...
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These poor, demented creatures will no doubt be able to live a short but happy life, albeit in a mist, but singing in praise of "El Prez." At least some of the country's voters will be happy, although they may not remember why... Next time that you do your accounts and realise that you have over-estimated your income and have a shortfall in your bank balance, take pity on Gordon Brown, he who keeps a tight grip on the purse strings of this country and therefore our money! He has had to borrow in excess of £20 billion pounds over the next five years because of the same. Try telling the taxman that story at the end of the month. Now that Cherie has allegedly been taken on by a known con
man, she now knows what the rest of us have felt like since 1977...! Chas Kissin (P99J) |
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As I write this in December with Christmas in mind, I thought that as it was
also the panto season, wouldn't it be fun to have a different one this year
starring all the "important" people. Let's start with George 'Dubbya'
who could star as Aladdin to Saddam's Ebenezer with George shouting out:
"Open sez me!" Yassir Arafat could be in this along with his Fatwa
thieves. Our own Tony would be, along with his babes, lost in the woods
while Gordon Brown could take the part of Baron Hardup, as he has just gone
to MFI for a loan! Then we could have David Blunkett playing the Pied Piper of Sangatte, leading all the rats away from France across the water to England to disappear forever. Lord Falconer - he of the Dome fiasco - would naturally have the part of Humpty Dumpty (no padding needed), for surely he has to fall soon? Even Cherie could have a part this year, as is her want, playing any one of the ugly sisters in Cinderella. Mayor Ken would of course play the part of Pinocchio - and just watch his nose! Jack Straw, John Prescott and Alan Milburn would all star in The Wizard Of Oz, all looking for |
courage, a brain and a heart - in that order. Alistair Campbell could
rewrite all the stories with a better spin and lots of "He's behind
you" and "Oh no he isn't" all over the show. Naturally the
song to be sung would be Tony's theme song: Things Can Only Get Better! Not to be outdone, the opposition parties can join together to make a film. The lead role will have to be No Idea (Con) with full support from Charlie Wassisname (Lib-Dem). This stupendous no action blockbuster movie would be a sequel to the Star Wars stories with the working title: Attack Of The Drones! Filmed in dull shades of grey, it would also feature Dolby non-surround sound so as not to keep you awake. This will probably go straight to DVD and video, with the extra option of buy one - get one free plus a zillion extra reward points from your local supermarket... With the NHS still in turmoil and long queues at the A&E just for you to get totally ignored, new drop-in centres are soon to be opened for 'smack-heads' and heroin addicts. There the drugs will be administered free, no doubt because it is an ongoing condition. |
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