A Day in the Life of a Cab Driver
BY P. EMDEN,C.48
girl. After  tonight I would definitely melt this ice-cold girl of mine.
   The film was good as far as we had seen. Then came THE SCENE. I nudged my girl. "This is it." The cab rolling downs the street. It came closer, my heart was pounding. My girl said, "I can’t recognise anyone." "Well wait for a close up," I almost shouted. Then came the crash. Exactly to time, amazing piece of filming. I then scrambled out of the cab.
   "What a terrific job the make-up men have done to you. You look" "That’s not me!" I shouted. Shush, tut tut. Everyone was looking at me. A Day in the Life of a Cab Driver As we left the theatre I realised that I was USED to drive the cab, but the real acting job was done by a well-known actor. I felt NUMB.
   We didn’t talk all the way home. When we arrived at her flat, she thanked me for taking her to see the film. She had enjoyed the picture, except for the embarrassing few minutes. I tried to fix a date for next week, but she said she was thinking of going to Paris. We SHOOK hands and she vanished behind the door.
   Who did she think I was, a 

CHARLTON HESTON!!
COMPLAINTS MEETING RESULT

A.62. Mr. Crayson, two-week suspension. Booming a job at Shepherd’s Bush Rank.

DO YOU KNOW
THE LONDONER

   As our office are in the Paddington area, I thought it might be a good thing to have a little of its history. In the 19th century Paddington was a very rural district; in fact it was noted for its agriculture, and indeed, most of its occupants derived their from it. The lands of Paddington were given to the Church in every early time by the Saxon King Edgar. At the
dawn of the 19th century once you left Marble Arch there wasn’t a house to be seen until you came to Craven Hill. What a difference today, Bayswater Road and Oxford Street comprise the longest and straightest road through London; even today its length is nearly two miles. It was along the Bayswater Road that the first tramway in London was built in 1860 by A Mr. George Train, his tramway had one great disadvantage, i.e., it ran on raised rails, these proved such a nuisance that it only lasted one year and was removed. Also in Bayswater Road, just before Albia Street, is one of the smallest and narrowest houses in London, no more than 52ft. wide.
   Lancaster Gate stands on the site of Hopwood’s Nursery Ground and the Victoria Tea Gardens, this being a favourite place for sports meetings. The area around Lancaster Gate called Craven Hill takes it name from Lord Craven who during the plague of London gave a site in St. Martins in the Field as a plague pit, in exchange he was given a field covering Craven Gardens, which if London is ever visited by the plague again will still be available for a plague pit.
   When Paddington Station was first built it was the furthest main line terminal from London, this was because in the pioneer days of the railway, the Commissioners who were set up to investigate this subject were adamant that it should not interfere with the well being of the inhabitants, what a change from today. Right up until 1821, what is now Queensway was called Blackman Lane, Whiteleys the famous store was founded in 1863 by Mr. William Whiteley a Rochdale man, in 1907 he was shot dead by Horace George Rayner who was under the impression that he was his illegitimate son.
   Westbourne Grove up until the Eighties of the last century was a very fashionable shopping centre; Lawrence’s the furnishing store occupies the original site of Whiteleys.
   The canal at Paddington used to just over a century ago provide a means of transport to Uxbridge, the fare was 1s. for six miles, 1s. 6d. for 10miles and 2s. 6d. all the way to Uxbridge, breakfast being provided abroad.

   Since writing these stories, people have approached me to discover whether or not they are true. Basically the stories are fact, for the experiences of a licensed London Taxi-Driver are so numerous. In fact, some of our happenings could make James Bond read like an Enid Blyton.
A Star in the making
   We all get days when nothing seems to go right, legals, scrubs, etc. This was just the sort of day. Even the radio was playing me up. I could hardly hear the B.B.C. credit job "No Charlie 84 SHIP in a bottle to go to …" That could have been embarrassing.
   I recall approaching a junction trying to decide whether to turn left or right. All the time decisions; I turned left. The cab behind me turned right and got a "four hander" I got a dented wing. Did I say dented? It looked as though it was hanging on with chewing gum. A solid looking Land-Rover was determined to prove that they have right of the way and I was fuming. I shot out of the cab ready for a punch up. "Sorry darling," she said, and out of the Land Rover slipped … yes, it was er… what’s her name? Fiona Donaldson, the international actress.
   Of course this altered my whole altitude. Who would think of punching up Fiona? I just melted on the spot. "Don’t worry about your silly little knock," she said, "you’re just the man I’m looking for and I’m glad I bumped into you.
   Now you know what you gotta do!" I just couldn’t stand any more. " What do you want me to do," I angrily replied.
   "Well you have to" I will not go into details as the whole process took hours to film. Briefly I was to drive down a street on the set, with Fiona in the back. A car then appears from a side street and thumps my wing, which had already been prepared by Fiona. Only the sound effects were needed, I then get out and start shouting, only to be knocked out. Fiona is schlepped out of the cab and driven of at high speed in a Land Rover.  You can imagine how I felt. I was a star! I was acting with real, live, actors. After a hectic day at the studios I was thanked and paid for my supreme acting ability. I drove home feeling on top of the world. When I pulled into the garage everyone looked at my distorted wing. It was only then I realised I had not taken any particulars of the accident. Well what’s a little tap on the cab to a star. We stars must keep together. The show must go on and all that jazz.
   I told everyone of my experience. Family, friends, and my latest date. She always played hard go get, so telling her would make me big in here eyes. I promised I would take her to the Command Performance. The Press had gone overboard with the film. Every critic gave it the thumbs up. One paper even had a bit I didn’t let her finish. Out of my cab came an old man with a stained A.R.P. coat and a walrus moustache.
   I need you in a film I’m making. No, I really mean it. Now close your mouth and listen." I did this, and as I was dumbfounded I listened. " I need a young, handsome cabby to play an important part, and you are my man."
   Before I could catch my breath I was following her to Timewood Studios. When we arrived, we drove straight on to what appeared to be the set. Filming was at full blast. Cameras and lights everywhere, Fiona alighted and walked over to an amazed Producer. After about three minutes, the producer started to rave, flung his arms around Fiona shouting "Fantastic, just what we needed!"   
   The Producer then dashed over to me talking at a terrific rate. "You’re the guy. About " The authentic taxi scene!" This made my head even larger. I felt I  couldn’t leave the mirror to go to work in the mornings.
   I got tickets for the big night, and with  Press cuttings in one hand and chocolates in the  other I called for my 

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