When talking
about the use of words and the unintentional humour that comes from them,
a good source is from advertising material and instructions for the use of
various items.
For instance, a notice in a Sainsbury's supermarket read
... 'House plants are for ornamental use only and not for consumption,'
or the notice that had serious intent but was nevertheless funny regarding
the sign on a packet of peanuts that said: 'This packet may contain
nuts' or the message on a packet of nuts given by an American airline
with instructions that read: 'Open packet and eat nuts.' Easy when
you know how!
Or what about the bottle of children's cough linctus on which
the precise instructions read: 'May cause drowsiness, do not drive a
car or operate heavy machinery'. I suppose that it is useful to know! |
I know some of us are a little bit thick when it comes to
operating gadgets, but the notice on a Japanese made clock which read: 'To
replace battery, take out old one and insert new one' was perhaps
abstracting the Michael...
I did like the proviso that went with the Acme Ultrasonic Dog
Whistle: 'This product will be ineffective if your dog is deaf.!'
It also showed that you are never too old to pick up useful bits of
info...
McDonalds warn their clients |
that the
contents in their coffee cups will be hot, but I must admit that myself
and many others were baffled by the instructions that went with a food
processor that came from Japan: 'Not to be used for the other use.'
Well, at least we have been warned!
With Christmas almost here, be very careful because the
instructions that came with one box of Christmas tree lights read: 'For
indoor and outdoor use only'. That, as they say, throws an entirely
new light on it!
You will be sure to get a good nights sleep if you follow the instructions
given with a Sevylor waterbed: 'This item is not to be eaten.'
Being Christmas, you wouldn't want a case of early indigestion, would you?
And lastly, some good advice from Nestlé on their packets of
cereal. 'For the best results, eat with your mouth closed.....!'
Have a wonderful Christmas and I'll see you next month... |
