SMILE FOR THE DAY
A burglar broke into a house one evening. Shining his flashlight on the floor of the darkened room, he heard a voice saying, "Jesus is watching you". He looked around nervously, shook his head, and kept looking for valuables.
   Then he heard it again: "Jesus is watching you."
   This time, he shone his light all over until it rested on a parrot. He asked the bird if he had said it. The parrot admitted that he had and replied: "I'm just trying to warn you, that’s all." The burglar said, "Warn me, huh? Who are you? What's your name?"
   "Moses" replied the parrot. With a smirk, the burglar asked the bird: "What kind of stupid people would name   parrot Moses?"
   With his best squawk, the parrot responded:
   "Probably the same kind of people that would name a rottweiler Jesus!"

*************

A young couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. On arriving, the doctor met them and said that he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labour pain to the father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favour and immediately agreed.
   The doctor set the pain transfer dial to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. As the labour progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and bump it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this, they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued to feel quite well. Since it was obviously helping out his wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him.
   The wife soon delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic and were allowed to return home much earlier than normal.
   When they got home, they found the postman dead on the porch…! 

JUNE DIARY
Thanks to Foresight.

June 6-14 National Bike Week

June 10 World Cup Finals begin

June 13 Queen's official birthday

June 16-19 Royal Ascot horse racing

June 16 National Car-Free Day

June 21 Father's Day (Are you listening, kiddies?)

June 22 Wimbledon '98 Tennis tournament begins

June 23 City of London festival

 

 

Do you have a memory connected to the cab trade that you would like to share with Call Sign readers? Send it to the Editor and allow others to share in that memory…
Today’s memory comes from Ron Colman (B13)

MEMORIES

On the 11th October 1972, I was driving along Wellington Road towards Baker Street - the time was 11.30 p.m. We all know how one's eyes sometimes play up and you begin to see things that are not there when you actually get close up.
   I thought, on this particular night, that that was happening to me! I saw two people skipping merrily along, holding hands and doing their thing to a figure of eight. I closed up to satisfy myself positively that it was no illusion and that it really was happening.
   And yes, it really was happening; there were two people actually skipping along in the manner I have described.
   When hearing and seeing my approach, they hailed me and upon stopping, they both jumped in.
   "Cine Centre please driver", the young man said in an accented way and off I drove to their destination - which at the time was in Panton Street, Haymarket.
   On route, the couple were extremely charming, most polite, very talkative, appeared interested in everything around them including myself, asked about my family, where I lived and then simply chatted about this and that. From amongst my fares that night, unquestionably, they were the most memorable as well as being the most human. Not because of that, I asked for an autograph, which they were more than willing to give. That autograph is attached to this article.
   On Friday 7th April 1998, some 25 years 5 months and 6 days later, the lovely and talented young lady of the 'dancing duo of St. Johns Wood' died.

Her name was Linda McCartney...........

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