Call Sign February 2010 - Page 22 - THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TOM WHITBREAD

Legally Blonde On New Year’s Eve and accompanied by my wife, I had the great pleasure to see the production of Legally Blonde at the Savoy Theatre. We are both great fans of Sheridan Smith after seeing her in the TV show Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps and then in Little Shop of Horrors at the Duke of York’s Theatre. When I first saw Little Shop of Horrors it was at the Menier Chocolate Factory Theatre in Southwark and at that performance I was seated next to Matt Lucas and his now sadly deceased boy friend Kevin McGee. Both of them were really nice and like myself, thoroughly enjoyed the performance. So back to that very cold evening on the last day of the decade; dressed like Nanook of the North, we made our way to the Aldwych by bus and arrived at the Savoy in good time. As the audience began filling the auditorium, it became evident that they were all ready to start the party for the coming New Year, some carrying glasses of alcohol while others had obviously already consumed theirs to save spilling it! Either way, it made for a very happy audience who were ready to become involved and enjoy every word and musical note. Four minutes into the production, a piece of scenery jammed and the Manager came onto the stage and apologised, so we then had to wait for the show to restart! After a short interlude and no doubt a few more sips of vino, the orchestra struck up, their music filling the theatre and we were off again with magnificent singing and energetic dancing. After a short time, the star of the show appeared to be greeted with tremendous cheers. Sheridan Smith has that cheeky grin that makes you feel as though you are a close friend and part of her performance. Further into the musical, there was the treat of being entertained by a former Dr Who and Tristan in All Creatures Great and Small, Peter Davidson. He plays Professor Callahan, the slightly perverted lawyer. Also enhancing the excellent cast and playing Elle’s best friend is Jill Halfpenny, who formerly played policewoman Kate Mitchell in Eastenders in addition to many other roles and, of course, who is a former winner of Strictly Come Dancing. Duncan James plays the part of Elle’s boyfriend - although I have to wonder why he is given a top billing as his part is fairly small! The principal male role is taken by Alex Gaumond who is Emmett, Elle’s mentor... lucky guy! This musical is full of good music, enthusiastic dancing and comedy with a cast of beautifully fit young ladies and good looking young men who must spend a good part of the day in the gym toning their stomach muscles! It is also a show that includes a wonderful performance from Sheridan Smith in some figure-revealing costumes, plus the backup from Jill Halfpenny who also appears in some costumes that look as though they may have shrunk! The show stoppers are two dogs Bruiser and Rufus, a Chihuahua and a Bulldog. Whenever they are on stage, eyes are distracted from the other stars and focused onto the dogs. It is also a show that seems to please minority groups of gays and lesbians, as there is a theme running through that brought cheers and whistles from the audience when certain members of the backup dancers appeared! This is a show that could seriously challenge other great musicals currently running in London and I hope Sheridan Smith achieves this with her wonderful back up cast. HMG, snow, ice and the NHS! I must now congratulate the	Another batch of views from Tom that do not necessarily reflect the views of DaC THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TOM WHITBREAD DaC’s answer to Victor Meldrew!
	Government and local Councils over the complete hash they made after being warned that snow and ice was on the way, yet failed to make it safe for motorists and pedestrians. Then there was the inevitable message; we’re running out of gritting salt for the roads and pavements. Why was this? Because we have officials who cannot think ahead and who do not want to lay out money on reserve supplies as it might encroach on their bonuses or wage increases! Unlike your Board of Management at Dial-a-Cab, where now you can see the efforts of past year’s achievements giving a pay back. Who would like to lay odds that in June or July we get the other message - we are running out of water and it needs to be rationed with a Government message for us to try and share a shower? Well if Sheridan Smith or Kelly Brook were to be my flatmate, I might jump at the chance, but with my luck and if she were alive I’d be sharing with Hattie Jacques! We also heard in the past month that not only is money to be wasted on plastic policemen (PCSOs), but that they now want to have fewer nurses working in hospitals with more work to be taken on by Health Care Assistants. This will mean that when more patients die, we’ll hear from an official that there is to be an enquiry, but that we should remember that these persons in charge are not fully trained nurses. Then there will be an apology and the hospital administrator will then be given a hefty bonus. No one, of course, will be sacked. My knowledge of the legal system and law is fairly small, but I would treat a case like this as corporate manslaughter. You would only need one case along these lines proved and you’d see these incompetent administrators running for cover, trying to get backup from Health and Safety persons plus PC imposters. Who gets our money? Every day we hear that this country is sinking further and further into debt, yet we have a Government who are only too quick to send Łmillions out to so called underdeveloped countries. These are countries that can always find money for weapons causing mayhem, murder and genocide whilst their President, or whatever they have decided to call themselves, lives in great opulence. The money is being sent out of our country, whilst old age pensioners are dying horrific deaths due to the cold, being unable to feed themselves, with some even starving to death. These are people who have worked all their lives and paid taxes, believing that they would be looked after when they reached an age or health condition that bars them from working. That money could also be used to ensure a better life for those old age pensioners, children in danger or suffering with incurable diseases and who could have their fears lessened if the money wasn’t wasted. We should stop the Łmillions that are being wasted on interpreters for legal or illegal criminal migrants and put it to better use. Immigration services should not allow persons to settle in England unless they can converse in the mother tongue - ie English. Most seem to have no intention of learning English, except for words that allow them benefits, paid for by those same pensioners who are dying excruciatingly painful deaths. Where to live? In the courts recently, we had the group of vermin who classed our returning soldiers as baby killers and murderers, whilst extolling the greatness of their ancestral homeland. If their homelands are so great, why are they here claiming benefits whilst not working? Local councils are paying out thousands of pounds to rent these quite-often illegal	immigrants a large mansion due to the man of the house not being able to keep his trousers buttoned up. Why do the government not built cheap basic blocks of flats with no central heating, just key meters for light and heating, on the derelict airfields in this country? Then you tell them that if they want benefits, they have to earn them. This can be done by having them clean up common land that needs work so that people have more recreational spaces, working for old people or those who are infirm and who need their gardens tended. If we are giving them money, then we should see a return. And yes, that also goes for the layabout English families that have never done a day’s work in their whole life! Hooligans and ASBOs Also highlighted of late are the number of honest, hard working people who are being terrorised by hooligans - many who have ASBOs against them. These people are trapped in their houses or flats, with curtains pulled shut for fear of bricks being thrown through the window and when they do venture out, they get abuse hurled at them. We then see the local Chief of Police come on TV and utter garbage such as that these people should try and make friends with their neighbours! If these office bound police chiefs came into the real world, they’d know that you cannot befriend these out-of-control animals. Maybe these are the police that Jack Straw meant when he said they did not want to go out onto the street? The only way these Police Chiefs can be made to do their jobs in a correct manner would be if they were answerable to the local community. If these so called protectors of the public had to be elected by the local community every three years, then they would only get voted back in by results. Maybe then and only then, we wouldn’t hear such appalling news like a mother and daughter having burnt themselves to death in their car after 10 years of being terrorised, with no realistic police protection or prosecutions being made. You may wonder why I am writing in our magazine about these problems? Well as I have said before in Call Sign, we must have a law abiding society where the police are allowed to do their job correctly without the interference of Human Rights or Politically Correct money wasters. We have seen what happens in the jungle - a pack of animals will seek out and attack a lone, vulnerable victim. Well you are that lone, vulnerable victim when you are out driving your taxi in the dark or on high risk estates. Without the insurance of police protection, we could well become a state not unlike the back streets of Johannesburg or the violent areas of New York? It is now that you should start looking at politicians and their career history; have they done the best job over the past years in looking after your interests and that of the country? Or have they been in it for themselves, bending the rules to line their own pockets, or perhaps even breaking the law while hoping their status as an MP will get them off the charge? I really do not care who you vote for when a General Election comes along, but start thinking now so that you will be prepared to try and get this country out of the mire and back onto a level where we can hold our heads high again, not cower in the corner and let the bullies dictate how we use our countries wealth... I hope that during the coming year you and your family have a very healthy and prosperous 2010 and if you go to the AGM, please come and say hello. Tom Whitbread DaC Board member

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