Call Sign August 2009 - Page 23 - THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TOM WHITBREAD

I received the July issue of Call Sign on the same day that my left shoulder decided to remind me that I was getting old and send shooting pains around an area that should be mobile. Perhaps it was brought on by my good nature of getting the shopping from that high-class supermarket, ASDA, for my loving wife who had spent the morning tending the floral display she has produced on our balcony for the enjoyment of passing drivers and pedestrians at Dalston Lane and Queensbridge Road. But due to the pain, I decided to rest the shoulder by having a quiet lay down and reading our magazine. It was the first time in many months that I covered every one of the crammed packed pages of information. But after reading many of the articles and letters, I began to think I was reading past issues as the themes and points made were exactly the same as I had written of in the past and been castigated for, but now the work has taken a downturn, my words seem to have been correct. I was called a ‘friend of the minicabs’ at the time, but the idiots who suggested that could not have been further from the truth. Can you remember when I told drivers that while there was plenty of work around, not to bury their heads in the sand as their rear ends would be up in the air and that was the best way to get stuffed? That is what happens when being blinded by greed when the work is plentiful, letting the minicabs (now Private Hire) get footholds in hotels, clubs and many other lucrative venues. The suggestion from some drivers came as: "What do you know, working in the office all the time." Well I wonder if any of those who profess to be knowledgeable about the cab trade will eat their words and admit I was right in warning you of that looming threat? Maybe this recession will have done some good in bringing the licensed taxi trade closer and attacking the threats to our trade. But I guarantee that if the work becomes plentiful again, drivers will go their own sweet way and let Addison Lee and others get into to sources of work that could and should be travelling in a licensed taxi. Cheating the system? After the last BoM Meeting, I had to sit on a Board Appeals panel for drivers who had been expelled. These drivers had found a quirk in our despatching system, which they then used to their advantage over time to steal work from other drivers ahead of them in the queue. They didn’t inform the BoM to allow us to correct the problem and so give every driver equal chances on all work. They capitalised on the problem, making up to Ł40 to Ł50 extra a night (using a driver’s own words) and would have carried on - except that they were then caught. A few of my colleagues began to	Another batch of views from DaC’s answer to Victor Meldrew. These do not necessarily reflect the views of anyone at Call Sign or DaC… THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TOM WHITBREAD
	feel sorry for the first driver and thought perhaps an expulsion verdict was too harsh, as he spoke with an apologetic and quivering voice. But when the original sentence was deemed to be correct, his true character showed through with venom when he said: "Thank you for nothing; you have just ruined my life as a radio taxi driver." He seemed to forget who it was that was stealing work from his so called friends. The Board are in place to work for and protect the 2000+ honest subscribers who go out to work to earn money to provide for their families, not to cheat on their fellow subscribers. I think the BoM do a very good job in accomplishing this on behalf of honest drivers, but be warned, if you are prepared to cheat then it is only a matter of time before you will be caught. Allan Evans also told me of another driver who complained to him that his name had been put into the results of the complaints meeting, so his friends then knew he had been cheating them. Allan is correct in naming the driver, as I did for 20 years; if you do not want the shame of being named, do not break the rules. Charlie Rubin I, more than many perhaps, was saddened by the death of Charlie Rubin whom I had worked with for over 30 years. This went back to our days in Shirland Road, when he was the day Control Room Supervisor and I was the Night Supervisor. During those 8 years, we had a close work relationship, but it also gave me the opportunity to play jokes on him and as you know, I do have a sense of humour. On this particular occasion, we were working in the basement of Shirland Road. As you descended the stairs, you were confronted by a large counter/desk and on the nearest end of the desk was the diary for that day’s happenings. This was the first item Charlie would go for on his arrival, mainly to see what lazy person had gone sick! One night, with the help of a greengrocer’s 1 lb weight and a thin piece of twine, I rigged the diary so as soon as he touched it, the book would shoot along the eight-foot counter and disappear. The look on his face was well worth the wait, just as it was when a driver acquired a shop window mannequin. During the night, I	found a set of clothes and dressed it like a driver with a flat hat and telephonist’s headphones. Then I sat it at the furthest point of the control room at a telephonist control panel. When Charlie arrived I said there was a driver learning the phones and left it at that. It was some 20 / 25 minutes before Charlie twigged and said he hadn’t seen the driver even move. "Are you sure he isn’t dead," he had asked! Also, on the night of 31st March into 1stApril, I asked the night drivers over the air if they would like the front shop to stay open all night so that they could be paid throughout the night. In those days drivers were paid cash for their account work in a front shop type office. If they wanted this to happen, then they should phone Charlie in the Control Room during the morning before midday. I left it at that, so that the some drivers would realise it was April Fool’s Day. After around 100 drivers phoned Charlie, he was going up the wall. So to get his own back, he gave a few of them my home number so that I’d be awoken from my well deserved sleep! The last gag I will relate originated from a driver who sold me some hazelnuts in their shells; the only difference was that these had been doctored and a condom put in the shell in place of the nut, then sealed with the correct coloured plastic wood. I then told Charlie that if he could open the shell without using any tools, I’d give him Ł1. My wife was with me at the time. Now Charlie, not one to be beat, caught me unawares and put the shell between his teeth crunched and shattered it. The clean condom then gained its freedom, filling Charlie’s mouth with a rubbery substance. The look on his face when he realised he had been tricked and the howls of laughter from the control room staff was well worth the Ł1. The jokes were numerous and these were just a few of those I played on him, but I am honoured to be able to say he was a wonderful and trusted friend. The only thing that I could not get this gentle man to do was to raise his voice or lose his temper. I will miss him greatly, you do not get characters like him now in the trade. Sister Act I was lucky enough to acquire 2 tickets for the wonderful musical at the Palladium. Sister Act is a show well worth seeing and informing your passengers about. I did notice that there were driver’s wives with their friends there, but there was an big absence of many drivers… Tom Whitbread DaC Board member

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