Looking after females?
Many years ago, Allen Togwell launched to much national publicity a taxicard for women who could use it to call for a DaC taxi, knowing that the driver would take that bit more care and make sure that the female passenger concerned wouldn’t just reach her destination safely, but actually get inside the building before the driver pulled away.
   Now I’m sure that I am not alone in saying that - perhaps out of habit as much as anything – I always wait until any female passenger leaving my taxi gets inside whichever building she asks for. I can’t remember exactly, but I suspect that I was doing that before Allen’s Female Taxicard was even thought of.
   But I have noticed of late that things aren’t quite what they were in that direction, because on several occasions whilst waiting to make sure that the woman has entered the house, they have given me the type of look that could suggest you were up to something.
   At first I found it amusing, but it has happened too often for me to laugh it off. On most occasions, the ladies concerned are youngish business types and if looks could kill, I’d be – at best – pretty seriously injured!
   I just wonder whether any other drivers have noticed a change in some female’s attitude towards what we used to regard as a courtesy we’d extend because they were women and we wanted to make sure they were ok. Or is it just me…?

Olympic sized fools?
I can’t help wondering whether the Mayor’s department are taking us for mugs. Our trade is seeing more changes nowadays that we used to see in a decade. If you take your cab up for passing, it will be every bit as difficult to get it passed or even get an appointment. And unless you have a TXII, you’ll know all about needing an emissions system that elevates your droshky up to the current fantasy world of Euro 3. Fortunately, our friends in the bus industry don’t use the PCO, or many would fail as they only need Euro 2 – but then again, as those same friends have representatives in all parts of Transport for London - including the PCO - they needn’t worry themselves too much!
   Then there is the Private Hire section. These good folk get their cabs "passed" in an assortment of places and will get their licence without needless concern over silly things such as emissions. But they too face rules… such as your window tint must not be so dark as to prevent a clear view of the licence. Oh really? Well, it seems fairly common knowledge – and quite sensible considering the cost we already face- that some taxi garages finding a minor scratch or two on their client’s taxi hubcaps, will replace them for the Penton Street passing-out parade and then swap them back over at the garage. By that token, do we also assume that PH change their windscreens over, because some are so dark it seems amazing that the driver can actually see out!
   Yet they seem to get their licence – regardless as to whether they

And why two overhauls?
Because we are now all the same… us and PH are the same. Get used to it. There is no longer any attempt to get PH up to our standard. We are going down to theirs – except for one thing – The Knowledge.
   If the Mayor’s secret plan is to get the one standard of "taxi" travel, then why is the KoL still taking so long? It is a fact that the suburban Knowledge is now taking longer than the old green badge one. Why is the Mayor’s office – which seems to want to make us all the same – making the Knowledge such a long-term achievement? Is it because he wants the world’s highest standard of taxi driver? Well he already has that, but what he doesn’t have is enough of them. So could it be that he wants our trade to die and to replace us with a hundred thousand plus cars? You’d be right to ask why on earth he should want that? The answer that stands out is 2012 and the London Olympics – HIS Olympics!
   Mr Livingstone has made it clear that he still wants to be Mayor for that event and my betting is that in his mind he wants not only for every visitor or Londoner to be able to step out of their house/hotel and to see a bendy bus passing immediately, but if that same person wants a cab, then the same policy will apply replacing the words ‘bendy bus’ with the word ‘cab’.
   But isn’t he frightening away future licensed taxi drivers by making the KoL such a nightmare to get through? It’s only the thought of being able to ply for hire that keeps those hardy souls going, but if it transpired that because our numbers were dwindling – and never mind the "fact" that we have doubled in numbers since the Crimeon war or whatever era some in the trade press want to frighten us with in order to stop our expansion - this trade has stagnated over the past four years and is slowly dying.
   The PCO / TfL / Mayor have done their jobs well. We will soon be what the pedicabs are now – a tourist attraction while PH will be picking up from the streets. And this will happen before 2012 if the next Mayoral election returns the same administration – and to be honest, who is out there to replace him?
   Steve Norris – he who put PH into the frame in the first place – was at least honest. When he said that PH would never be allowed to ply for hire so long as he was Minister for Transport, you could
 

believe him. But it seems unlikely that he will try to stand as a
Mayoral candidate for a third time unless he does so as an Independant. Other than Mr Norris, the Tories have no one who looks to have the aptitude to do the job, although rumour suggests that a lady with strong connections to the taxi trade might stand. The trouble is that the taxi trade – even if every single driver voted for her – doesn’t have anywhere near enough drivers to make a difference and that will never change.
   So what do I expect to see from the public / private hire sections of our trade? Well providing terrorism doesn’t totally decimate tourism, I fully expect the PCO "experimental Knowledge" which currently involves 100 students if they stay the course – and I don’t
believe in miracles - to bring the average time down to "under 3 years." Meanhile during the next 3 years, we will hear that because our service is unable to cope and there are not enough people on the Knowledge, PH are to be given ranks around central London followed in late 2011 by the dreaded news that to help improve the service leading up to the Olympic Games, licensed PH are to be allowed to ply for hire.
   A fantasy world? I don’t think so and so long as the Knowledge is kept at the ridiculous standard it is currently at, then I believe that by 2012, we will be not dying… but dead. After all, once PH is allowed to pick up in the street, why do the Knowledge? Only then will it be reduced to around one month with a written test and made so simple that even a kid could do it. Low and behold Ken’s single-standard "taxi" service!
   The answer? We must have a sensible Knowledge, one that a hard-working student can successfully negotiate in 18 months and certainly in under 2 years and also to hope that those applying for the KoL will increase. Those who worry that we already have too many cabs are helping to kill this trade and playing right into Mr Livingstone’s hands. If there were too many of us, PH wouldn’t exist – but they do and they are busy! And to save anyone asking, I disagree with Geoff Riesel’s quote in the Financial Times suggesting the KoL should be brought down to under one year – that is too short for a city like London.
   Our trade must grow and it has to begin now! I’ll get the usual criticism for this article, but I care not. My only concern is that this trade survives as the best taxi service in the world and not as a watered-down tourist attraction.
   Never mind Olympic-sized pools, worry about Olympic-sized fools… that could be us!

Flashers!
If you thanked him above that the 20mph cameras are now gone from Lower Thames Strret, please bear in mind that the camera by East Smithfield and Cartwright Street E1 is set for zero tolerance and drivers are being prosecuted for doing 35mph in a 30 zone. Well, they have to get their money from somewhere!

Alan Fisher
callsignmag@aol.com