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Mayoral
Elections on 10 June
Can you believe it’s May 2004 already? I’m
still getting over the Millennium
celebrations! Be that as it may, it is also
getting close to the Mayoral elections for
London when Ken Livingstone will be hoping
keep the position he treasures so much. This
is the position he has wanted ever since the
GLC was disbanded with Ken as its leader.
Will he
still be Mayor after 10 June? The decision
is yours. His main competitors, Steve Norris
and Simon Hughes have both been interviewed
in Call Sign about the world of the Licensed
Taxi, but the decision will be yours. Call
Sign has no intention of trying to lead you
one way or the other, but please remember
one thing; if you can’t be bothered to go
and register your vote, then you forfeit any
right to complain afterwards…
Re-licensing
and Nice T*ts!
I’m sure that I am not the first in the
trade to mention re-licensing. Yes, and I
know that everyone tells the story of how it
used to cost 15pence, but it was still a
shock when I saw how much it is now, after
receiving my reminder from the Public
Carriage Office. Besides the request for
funds, you also get a bumper bundle from
them including a nice letter from the Taxi
and Private Hire Director, Ed Thompson
informing us exactly what it is that we are
looking at. Items re your medical fitness,
what to enclose, how to fill in the Criminal
Records Bureau Disclosure form, the form
itself, an Equal Opps Monitoring form,
another letter from the Taxi Driver
Licensing department telling us how much we
owe them and an explanation as to why we
need to complete the CRB form at an
additional cost to the licence of £33,
making a grand total of £282 – or exactly
£281.85 more than the original amount! As a
rough guide, that is around 1882 times
dearer than when I first polished my badge
in 1971!
Having
said that, after 33 years of polishing it, I’m
still proud of it and would never be ashamed
to admit it. However, if the wonderfully
named Petronella Wyatt –
daughter of the late Woodrow - in her Mail
on Sunday article on April 18 had
her way, I’d be hiding in the gutter
somewhere!
Sadly,
her mother was mugged after getting out of a
Taxi and Petronella (can I call you Miss
Wyatt?) not only assumes that the driver saw
it all and just stood by and watched before
driving off, but has now assumed that all
Taxi drivers are part of "…a
ruthless |
Mafia who
threaten to picket and go slow if the Mayor of
London fails to give in to their
lobbying."
It’s
a sad fact that one incident such as her
mother’s mugging has also caused her to call
24000 Taxi drivers by some rather
uncomplimentary names and exaggerate that
dislike by virtually calling us all sex
perverts. We know that all journalists are
alcoholics, but Licensed Taxi drivers all
pervs? Naaahhh, surely not!
Whenever
she gets into a Licensed Taxi (amazingly often
for someone who doesn’t like us), she is
apparently put upon by the driver to talk
about immigrants, followed by what she calls
sexual innuendo. This, claims Miss Wyatt,
consists of PCO licensed Taxi drivers turning
around to her and asking if she fancies a kiss
or to inform her that she has "nice t*ts!"
Well Miss
Wyatt, they probably are nice and Call Sign
may publish your photo with the face blanked
out (we don’t want to give too many clues)
and run a competition for the first driver to
recognise your "nice t*ts" –
obviously the Mail on Sunday has run short on
the letter ‘i’. First prize will be a
three-day break at the new Ann Summers holiday
camp for frustrated Taxi Drivers at Bognor!
We’ve
seen so many of these newspaper articles over
the years where a hack doesn’t know what to
write about, so they pick on the London Taxi
industry because we are always ready to jump
when wound up. Well sorry Ms Wyatt with the
nice t*ts, your article – with the exception
of your mother’s mugging – wound me up
about as much as a piece on the state of
knitting in Braintree. I’m responding to
your article because I too can’t think of
anything else to write about this month! So
please feel free to carry out your weak threat
of not giving a t*p – sorry, I mean tip –
after all it’s a free country.
Incidentally
Pet (I’ve changed my mind and will call you
that instead), is there any chance of a
picture of you in the nude so that we can
decide once and for all if all 24,000 of us
are right about your
nice t*ts…!
Trafalgar
Square
Bad news chaps; I recently took Linda for a
day in town where we |
wondered
through our lovely City bathing in early
Spring sunshine like a couple of tourists. We
listened to an excellent free Handel concert
inside the beautiful St Martins-in-the-Fields,
followed by an outdoor free concert at
Trafalgar Square organised by the Mothers
against Guns. It featured an all-black cast of
singers, some of whom took the art of Gospel
singing to dizzy new heights. The concert was
to put across their message about no guns,
with the mothers of two young black girls who
were shot down in cold blood just because they
were in the wrong place at the wrong time,
standing proudly on the platform.
The message
was sincere and the concert great. So what’s
the bad news? Well, as a detester of what
happened to the Square, this was my first time
there as a visitor rather than as a Taxi
driver and with the beautiful weather we had
that day, I have to say that the Square was a
pleasure to be in. The pedestrianisation has
made it far safer and more enjoyable. I detest
the way TfL or whoever controls the lights,
has cocked up, but I’m sure that could be
put right with some thought. But the Square is
here to stay because quite simply, it’s
great like that!
Ed’s New Cab
Everytime I speak to
drivers from DaC, the first question always
seems to be how my new TXII is! Any problems I
might have in the future will probably become
known by the world before M&O even sniff
it! So as a brief update, I’m almost at 4000
miles and (touching a large chunk of wood as I
write this!), the cab has been as good as gold
– ok, ‘Silver’ in my case! Passengers
seem to like it and so far, I do to. Almost
half way to the first service and I haven’t
started a list yet! Where’s that piece of
wood again…
See You in
July…
Judging by comments you make when you see me
on the road, many of you enjoy reading Call
Sign as much as I enjoy editing it. I also don’t
thank you guys out there enough for the help
you give by sending or telling me news or just
interesting titbits of info.
But I have
to admit being absolutely delighted to write
that as is traditional, there will be no June
issue and I can have a month without worrying
about printing schedules!
So see you
in July, but in the meantime keep the info and
letters coming. Without it, there is no mag…
Alan
Fisher
callsignmag@aol.com |
