Sleeping on the Job!
Please, dear Dial-a-Cab drivers, wake up! It must be the long, dark nights or overwork, but I keep seeing cabbies asleep! The passenger in the first taxi tried to wake the driver up and he careered onto the pavement for an argument with a lamppost, which of course, he lost. Another injury claim followed by (I later found out), the disgrace of a ‘Driver Improvement Course’ from the police.
   And at Southampton Station, I was transfixed by a wrinkled old guy catching some zzzzs on the rank with a lighted cigarette dangling from his mouth. Once I was sure it wasn't Keith Richards, I came closer to enjoying the fun when the cigarette fell, he ignited his lap and all the parts under his lap - if you follow my meaning! But instead, his eyes popped open, he took a drag, then sank into apparent unconsciousness again. Do you people have passenger-approaching radar? Did my wallet somehow send signals to his eyelids to open so that he could check me out?
   My Dial-a-Cab hero Glen sleeps sitting up, the evolutionary opposite of the 3-toed sloth, which sleeps hanging upside down. You all work too hard! Please remember your health and your sanity leading up to 

BACK SEAT DRIVER

Police Commission’s Loss…
Well, the update on my life is that the Police Complaints Commission doesn't want me and my exile in Fratton, near Portsmouth, where I found temporary work, has been extended to February. I've settled in there, found a café which serves hot toast and an egg before work for £1 and I've started scoping out the tattoo parlours with designs suitable for the mature
buttock.
    And I do love Christmas, especially the insane conversations we office women conduct - identical year after year! Let’s see…
   10 December: "Have you got everything in yet, all prepared?" "God, no, I haven't started, haven't done a thing." "God, neither have I."
  

 15 December: "Are you spending Christmas with your folks this year?" "God, no, I'm not going there, it's so boring. I'm staying in London with my friends - no one’s going to their parents."
  20 December: "I bloody hate Christmas, it’s murder in town. I'm terrified my cash card’s going to get swallowed. If Gavin is going to the office ‘do’, I promise you that I wont!" "I'm not drinking anything this year, not after what happened last year."
   5 January: "Did you have a good holiday?" "Yes, lovely thanks. Just stayed with the family. Quiet, but nice. You?" "Yeh, the same, quiet, but nice." "I didn't do anything either, just went to my folks. No one was staying in London. It was really quiet - but nice."
   Well, Glen's glued to his DaCscreen somewhere near Canary Wharf. My bed’s cold and I'm lonely. I've saved bags of money through shopping-deprivation in Fratton and I think I need some Native American New Age inspiration, so I'm off to a wigwam in Arizona for the holidays. It'll be quiet - but nice!
   And I wish you and yours a big, big stocking full of fun, food and friends - you're the knights of the road, and you deserve it.

Love,
Poppy

Call Sign Home Page

Page 31

Powered by NetXPosure