Described as the biggest incentive in cab trade history, Dial-a-Cab have begun the task of working and paying out which drivers have captured what amounts in Christmas bonus's for covering the Xmas workload.
   The rules were simple: For every account trip that you did over this past November and December period MORE than the equivalent period last year (1999), you were paid £5. The only exceptions to the rules were for those who were not with DaC last year (now started as though they had done 200 trips last year), those who did less than 80 trips in the 1999 period were started as though they had done 80 and ALL drivers had to do a minimum of 200 trips as an entry 

£85K GIVEN TO DRIVER'S
IN XMAS INCENTIVES
(And THAT doesn't
include 3 Rover 25 cars!!!)

requirement to the 2000 competition.
   The highest amount won over the two week period was £1380 with five drivers actually getting above the £1000 mark and many drivers winning hundreds of £'s each!
   In total, £85,000 was given out to drivers and in addition, for every 8 trips they did over and above last years total, one lucky voucher was issued with their name on and all vouchers will be going into the draw to be held at the DaC AGM on Sunday 4th
February. The first three names out will walk off with a brand new Rover 25! If you are not attending the meeting, you will be notified as soon as possible afterwards.
   Call Sign asked Brian Rice whether such a huge incentive scheme had been justified:
   "Without doubt," he told us, "with record numbers of trips pouring through the system, our drivers did remarkably well with their coverage. I have no doubt that the scheme more than paid for itself."
to helen and back
 

With the Internet now a fact of life, Drivers Services Manager Helen Corkerry takes a monthly look at some of the hellish waffle that floats constantly through cyberspace.
You can contact Helen or Val in Driver's Services with any driver-related problems you may have...

Here are some more of those Americans who didn't quite make it into life's top 100 thinkers...!

Two men from Kentucky tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck, but instead of pulling the front off the machine they pulled the bumper off the truck! They panicked and fled, leaving the chain still attached to the machine, the bumper still attached to the chain and the car licence plate still attached to the bumper!

An American 'tourist', supposedly on a golfing holiday, stood in line at the customs counter. While making idle chatter, the customs official thought it odd that the golfer didn't know what a handicap was. The officer then asked the tourist to demonstrate his swing. He did - backwards! A

Helen Corkerry

substantial amount of drugs was found in the golf bag...

'Guns For Hire', an Arizona company specialising in staged gunfights for Western movies, got a call from a 47-year-old woman who wanted to have her husband shot. She was sentenced to four years in jail...

A Texan convicted of robbery worked out a deal to pay $9600 in damages rather than serve a two-year prison sentence. For payment, he provided the court with a forged check! He got his prison term back, plus a further eight more years.

A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him dead!

When asked for her occupation, a woman charged with a traffic offence said that she 

 

was a schoolteacher. The judge rose from the bench and with a smile said:
   "Madam," he said, "I have waited years for a schoolteacher to appear before this court, now sit down at that table and write 'I will not pass through a red light' five hundred times."

A judge in Louisville decided that a jury had gone a little bit too far in recommending a sentence of 5,005 years for a man who was convicted of five robberies and a kidnapping. The judge reduced the sentence to 1,001 years...!

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defence: "My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offence committed by his limb."
   "Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year in prison. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses."
   The defendant smiled. With his lawyer's assistance, he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench and left the court!

 


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