SMILE FOR THE DAY

A Cookie a Day...
An elderly man lay dying in his bed. In death's agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favourite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength and lifted himself from the bed. At first, leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom and with an even greater effort, forced himself to crawl down the stairs gripping the rails as tightly as his feeble hands could manage until reaching the kitchen door.
   With laboured breath he leaned against the doorframe and gazed into the kitchen. The scene was so transcendent, he wondered if in fact he hadn't already died and gone to heaven. There before his eyes, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table, were literally hundreds of his favourite freshly baked chocolate chip cookies.
   Was this heaven? Or was it one last act of heroic love from his devoted wife, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?
   Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself toward the table landing on his knees in a rumpled posture. His parched lips opened slowly; the scents and wondrous tastes of the cookies were already in his mouth! He suddenly felt new energies surging up through his narrow veins. His withered and aged hand trembled as it reached towards just one single cookie perched precariously at the edge of the table, when suddenly his fingers were smacked with a spatula being wielded by his wife...
   "Get off" she said, "they're for the funeral...."

What's This 'Ear...
Patrick was working away on the second floor of the building site when he accidentally sliced off his ear with his chain saw! He shouted down to the workers at ground floor level to see if they could find the ear hoping that if he could find it quickly enough, then he could pack it with ice, take it to the hospital and hopefully get it sewn back on.
   Suddenly one of the workers shouted back up:
"I think I've found it, Patrick!" With that, the worker held the piece of severed ear aloft. Patrick ran down realising that speed was of the essence. He looked at the ear and frowned.
   "Sorry boys, keep looking. That isn't my ear, mine had a pencil behind it...!"